Five questions to ask yourself when you want to burn down your business
Number 2: Is the thing making you unhappy a moment or a permanent fixture?
A little while ago I had to navigate a pretty unpleasant interaction in my business.
I needed to gently set a boundary and received a pretty rude response to doing so and it was really nervous system activating to be treated that way in my work.
And a part of me just thought: screw it, I don’t want to do this anymore.
I had this urge to run away, burn it all down, and never be in a situation like that again in my business and it took me a little while to move that energy through my body and mind.
Now spoiler alert: I didn’t actually want to burn my business down.
I adore my business. I’m so grateful for the incredible humans I get to work with and support in their own business journey, for the financial stability I’ve found in my work and the autonomy and flexibility I’ve been able to create for myself too.
But after an incredibly challenging year last year of balancing my health, parenthood, and business there was a part of me that just didn’t know how to process that sometimes we just have to deal with challenging situations where we aren’t treated in a way that feels acceptable to us.
And I know that this ‘I just wish I could burn it all down’ feeling isn’t unique to me, I’ve sat with business friends through it and held space for clients to navigate this feeling many times too.
Because business is messy sometimes, and exhausting at times too, and you’re not alone if sometimes you have this burning desire to run away and never open your laptop ever again.
So what do we do when this feeling hits us?
Here are the five questions that support me to find clarity through it:
1: What would I miss if my business disappeared tomorrow?
This was the question that truly brought me clarity, because if I burned my business down I would deeply miss the incredible humans I get to work with and the creativity I’m able to pour into my work and the freedom and flexibility my business makes possible for me too.
The truth is, everything in life comes with trade offs and challenges and a business is no different. There will always be outliers and challenging situations to navigate but we know we’re on the right track when the good heavily outweighs the hard.
2: Is the thing making me unhappy a moment or a permanent fixture?
This is one of the most impactful questions I can ask myself when something feels out of alignment in my work, it’s how I’ve both been able to make big pivots and evolutions over the years and also ride out a challenging moment too.
Because if it’s a permanent fixture consistently making me feel burned out, overwhelmed, or frustrated? That’s usually a sign that I need to do some big picture re-visioning in my business. But if it’s just a moment? That’s a reminder for me to just breathe and let it pass.
3: What wants and needs are feeling unmet right now in my business?
Usually when the ‘I want to burn it all down’ feelings hits me it’s usually because my wants or needs are feeling neglected in my work.
Sometimes it’s that I’ve been neglecting to honour my own boundaries or that I haven’t been taking enough headspace away from my work or that I’ve overcommitted myself in this season. If I can recognise what’s feeling unmet that can then help illuminate what I actually need to take care of myself and move through the desire to burn it all down and run away.
4: Am I burned out, pissed off, or out of alignment?
Sometimes I just need to ask myself this question.
Because if I’m burned out that usually means that I need rest, if I’m pissed off I need to process those feelings and move through them towards acceptance, and if I’m out of alignment I need some CEO time to re-route in my work.
5: Is this the hard that I want to choose for myself?
Like I said above, a business will always have its own unique challenges and trade offs. It’s easy to fantasise about how much easier it would be to just have a day job where we don’t have to carry everything ourselves but that path comes with its own trade offs too and for me as a chronically ill human there’s no way I could replicate the income and very part time hours I work within a traditional workplace.
So yes, sometimes I have to deal with challenging interactions and sometimes it feels overwhelming to wear all of the hats I wear in my work but I know with deep certainty that this is the hard I want to choose for myself because the joy, ease, freedom, and fulfilment it makes possible is so worth it to me.
And this doesn’t mean that I stay stuck in a version of a business that is no longer truly working best for me, I’ve had many evolutions over the years and I’m certain I will continue to along the way too.
And if after asking yourself these questions you feel like you actually do want to burn it all down in your business?
I have a free 3-part deep dive kit to hold space for you to explore what a simple and spacious business actually looks like for you and how you can make it your reality too.
You can have it sent straight to your inbox this way.
And more than anything I hope you know that it’s so normal to feel like this sometimes in our business, to feel a little pissed off or exhausted or ready for an evolution of how we do our work in the world .
You’re not doing it wrong if you need a break, or support through a challenging situation, or a pause to recalibrate moving forward.
Until next time,
Jen
I had a tough time during the end of last year, and I found your deep dive kit really useful. There are parts of my business that I absolutely adore like my Facebook community for my business who are a really beautiful warm and supportive collection of humans. But other parts just wear me out thinking about them. I have made myself a plan to make my business better for both myself and my clients and am looking forward to implementing it (in a slow and gentle way that looks after my welfare too of course)
Jen, thank you so much for writing this. I am sadly such a sensitive soul and it really doesn’t take much to make me want to ‘burn the whole thing down’ as you so aptly describe it! Progress is slow and sometimes my shuffle steps forward feel pointless, particularly when I look around me at people zooming right by me. This is going to be a post that I return to when I need a reframe! Wishing you a very happy new year!