How I’m rooting into a sense of safety in this season of my business
After a year of navigating challenging health has left my nervous system a little tender and bruised...
My nervous system has felt a little tender lately.
I’ve had more access to thoughts of scarcity and not-good-enough-ness than I have in a long while and as I’ve reflected on why I’ve realised it’s how my mind has responded to navigating a very challenging season of my health this past year.
It’s been a year now since I stood up out of bed, fell to the ground, and had to go have an emergency brain scan to try and figure out why I was experiencing such debilitating symptoms and I haven’t had a day without dizziness since.
I was born with a neurological condition called Chiari Malformation so I’ve always run my business alongside the realities of a chronic illness but this past year has been a whole different ballgame.
I’ve navigated flare after flare and worsening symptoms these past twelve months and I’ve had to take my work and my life at a slower pace than ever before and I would be lying if I didn’t say that it’s been damn hard some days.
And don’t get me wrong: life has still been damn beautiful too.
I live in a home I love in a city I love and my business provides me and my little family the freedom each day to live and work at a pace that works best for us.
But living through these health challenges have quietly started to take a toll on my sense of self and I realised recently that it had started to make space for a story brewing within me that I’m less capable than I was before because of all of the struggles I’ve navigated in my body this past year.
But I also know that story isn’t a story that I’m willing to let live and breathe in my work and my life.
It doesn’t serve me, my joy, or my work and so recently I’ve been actively re-rooting into a sense of safety and calm in my business so that I can move through this nervous system activation and come back home to a sense of clarity and calm instead and here’s what that’s looked like just in case any of these can be encouraging for you too:
1: I’m reminding myself of the strength and stability of everything I’ve already built
Even though I haven’t felt like I’ve been thriving all that much this past year my business has actually, in all the ways that matter most to me, continued to thrive.
I’ve still made the amount of money I want to make, I’ve still done beautiful work with my clients and and in my group program, I’ve still brought to life content I’m proud of and that’s encouraged and supported others in their business journey.
My business has held me through these health challenges because of all of the work, word of mouth, and experience I’ve already poured into it over the past decade and it’s empowering to root into the reminder that I have these foundations to lean on even when I don’t have the capacity for more-more-more in my business right now.
My nervous system may feel tender right now and I may be processing the trauma of experiencing such challenging health but my business is stable, safe, and thriving and I just needed to remember that instead of spiralling into stories that aren’t rooted in any truth.
2: I’m rooting into gentle daily self care practices
Meditation, daily walks, not scrolling my phone first thing - I shared my current daily habits in this post here and these are really supporting me to make space for more self-care each day in a gentle and sustainable way.
3: And I’m prioritising nervous system care most of all
Grounding into my body with gentle movement, limiting my exposure to mindless scrolling on my phone, reading delightful books and rewatching my favourite TV shows, and starting my day with meditation - loving myself through how tender my nervous system feels right now is the best way I know to hold myself through this.
4: I’m reminding myself that I can earn less next year if I want and need to
I had this really empowering thought the other day: what if I made it okay to earn a little less next year if I wanted and needed to? If I made it okay to slow down even more next year and choose an even gentler path to business?
It’s not that I’m going to actively pursue taking a pay cut but instead remind myself that I don’t always have to make what I usually make each year to sustain and support our life, that I can make a little less if needed and still be absolutely a-okay and perhaps thrive even more if I need to take that step back and lean into more ease in my work and my life for a season.
5: I’m paying attention to what I’m outgrowing
Whether it’s some of my messaging or the ways I deliver some of my offers or even perhaps the people who once inspired me in business who maybe resonate a little less now, I think it would be impossible for me not to be deeply changed by this past year and the evolution navigating a challenging seasons naturally asks of us.
So more than anything, I’m giving myself permission to gently evolve and grow through this season - to not be afraid of what I’m outgrowing but to see it as an invitation for an even deeper awareness of what I truly want and desire in my work and my life in this season ahead to come.
6: I’m asking myself: what do I need to keep steering this ship whilst honouring the needs of my humanness each day too?
This is the question I hold space for my clients to explore, how they can honour their humanness alongside pursuing the goals that matter to them in their business, so it makes sense that it’s one of the most important questions to be asking myself right now too.
Whether it’s looking at my boundaries, my offerings, my commitments, and my expectations of myself too, everything has to be grounded in my needs as a human being if I want to stay in arena and keep steering this ship each day.
7: And I’m reminding myself that I’m still safe enough to play and explore in my work
It’s so scary to lose capacity through a health crisis, to feel pieces of yourself slip away whilst navigating challenging symptoms. I wrote about this a few months ago in this piece about whether I’m allowed to have dreams and goals if I don’t know if I’ll actually have the capacity for them and it still feels so relevant to me today.
But what my nervous system really needed lately was permission to still play and explore a little, to follow my creative rabbit holes, to make having fun a priority in my work still even though I need to take things gentle and slow right now. And what’s been so soothing is letting myself bear witness to ideas and projects I’m excited about hopefully gently bringing to life over the next few months, even if I have to do so at a very slow and gentle pace.
It’s reminded me that I’m safe to explore and play still, that I don’t have to just exist in survival mode, that the best is still yet to come.
Sometimes life kicks us on our ass a little, it hands us cards we wouldn’t have chosen to be dealt, and it asks us to be braver and kinder to ourselves than ever before.
And like I said above, life has still been beautiful.
I’d live this past year all over again if I had too because the good, thankfully, has always outweighed the hard.
But recognising how these health challenges have taken a toll on my nervous system and sense of self recently was so powerful in seeing the harmful story I was starting to tell myself in my business about what I’m capable of and how safe I am too.
So I share all of this today just in case you’ve been navigating your own hardships and your nervous system is feeling a little tender and bruised too.
What do you find supportive when rooting into a sense of safety in your business? I’d love to know more about what feels nourishing and supportive to you.
Until next time,
Jen
Thank you, Jen. So many good nuggets in there- I will be back to read this one again. ❤️
Love this piece, Jen! There's so much richness. As someone managing chronic illness alongside long COVID recovery, I resonated deeply with all of what you wrote. In particular, there is so much that's come up for me lately about scarcity and feeling like I'm less capable than I was "before." Thanks for sharing about how you're navigating your journey!