Things that I’m doing today to help me feel better

So that I don't stay stuck in the grief of living in a chronically ill body...

Photo credit: Unsplash

I felt really sad when I woke up this morning. I felt really sad when I woke up yesterday morning too.

Everything feels hard in my body right now. I have a migraine, my eyes are sore, I’m dizzy and my skin is tingling, I’m fatigued.

Being chronically ill sucks. Especially on days like today when I’m flaring pretty badly, when the grief of living in a body that navigates exhaustion and pain on a daily basis feels harder to move through.

I spent most of the weekend in bed resting and today I was just so ready to feel better, to move through my grief, to find a little light and joy as I embarked on this brand new week.

So here are the tiny choices that have nourished me little by little today, or will do very soon:

I wore an outfit that I feel good in 👟

Wide leg off-white jeans, a black tank, my favourite khaki shirt jacket, a comfy pair of white sneakers. Nothing special, but something that helps me to feel like myself.

I went for a walk and talked it out with my husband 🌿

I had a book due back at the library so we wandered into the city and talked through how sad I was feeling about how a rough few days of my health left me feeling like I couldn’t play with our son as much as he wanted me to, how challenging health days like this can make me being the breadwinner for our family feel really overwhelming, and how I’m craving a little more breathing room in my content creation schedule as I feel a little creative burnout in this season too.

I treated myself to a delicious pastry 🥐

And sat outside as I ate it and happily watched the world go by including lots of cute dogs.

I voice noted with close business friends 🤳🏻

We talked launches and business and celebrating tiny wins and made plans to hang out soon and cheered each other on with our tasks for the week ahead.

I let myself lie down whenever I needed to 🛌

No judgement, just gratitude that I have the space I need to rest when my body needs to.

I had my favourite comfort food for lunch and dinner 🍗

Rotisserie chicken and mashed potato for lunch and then leftover chicken in soup for dinner - what’s your go-to comfort food? 🍴

I took my medication 💊

To help me stay on top of my symptoms as best I could.

I re-listened to a podcast episode that I find insightful and comforting 🎙

Nicole Antoinette on Off The Grid exploring How Much Is Enough?

I’m going to rewatch one of my favourite TV shows once my son is down for bed 📺

TSITP for what feels like the 100th time.

Whilst having an Epsom salt bath 🛁

My nightly ritual, a podcast, book, or TV show whilst I soak in the bath.

And then I’ll curl up in bed and start a new book that’s waiting for me on my bedside table 📚

I have When I Think Of You by Myah Ariel lined up next.

And, most of all, I’m trying to love myself through what feels hard instead of judging myself for it.

And recognise all that is beautiful and delightful in this moment too: my husband and our son, my mum and that she took our son to the park today so I could work and rest, my business and the incredible humans I get to walk with in their business journey, my dear friends, a bedside filled with books, a home I love in a city I love, that I had enough spoons to go for a walk, and the freedom and autonomy to navigate my days at a pace that works best for me.

There’s a quote by Cheryl Strayed that I always come back to on days like this:

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt with. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding and my dear one, you and I have been granted a mighty generous one.”

So this is how I very gently played the hell out of the cards I’ve been dealt today, with one tiny joyful and loving choice at a time.

What brought you moments of joy, peace, and delight today?

Until next time,

Jen